When I first heard Ludacris song Slap, I truly felt like Ludacris was speaking to my soul. No matter how hard you try to stay positive and do your part in making a impact in society, there is always someone doing their part in moving society back a couple of notches. How do we handle these people? Being the mature, responsible adults that we are, we try communication and if that does not work, then we flat out ignore them. However, has there ever been a moment when you wanted to revert back to your immature ways and just plain ole’ slap them? I mean one good cock back twice and swing slap. A slap that would be made on behalf of everyone that had to put up with such foolishness. Whether it is actually written down or thought about, I think everyone has a slappy list. With that being said here is my Slappy List (well at least the short version).
All of Tiger Woods mistresses, except for Rachel Uchitel
It is because of you my television, for the past two months, has been saturated with information about Tiger Woods and his love life. Filled with information that I truly do not care about and all because you want your fifteen minutes of fame. Now you have the audacity to ask for sympathy because a company decided to place your face on the side of some golf balls. Are you serious?! Did you have sympathy for Elin Woods and their children? No, so excuse me if 99.9% of the general public decides not to feel sympathy for your trifling… If you would have either A) left him alone or B) closed your mouth, then you would not be in this situation. #imjustsayin
The believers of Jay-Z’s involvement with the occult, Mason, illuminati, insert organization here.
Really!!! So that’s what’s poppin’ on your side of hip-hop. 90% of you believers could not decipher Jay’s old albums. Heck, Jay even knew that and wrote a book to help you all out a little. Watching The Da Vinci code three times and solving two Scooby Doo mysteries does not make you a master of deciphering codes.
The Democratic Party
My biggest slap goes to the Democratic Party. When I say big slap, I mean one of those Street Fighter Hadouken slaps. You had the SUPER MAJORITY and what did you do? Instead of making some moves, you sat back and let the Republican Party act a fool. It seems like you all were too scared to even say the words Healthcare Reform in public. You pretty much did nothing to show your support for the Healthcare Bill. All of a sudden, you want to get a backbone ever since President Barack Obama rolled up walked in the Republican Party dinner and told them what was good in the hood white house.
Seriously, when I saw the discussion on television I jumped up out of my seat and did a series of church stomps and topped it off with a church dip. President Obama walked in that conference room with a “ I wish a ninja would mentality.” At the end of that lecture President Obama could have dropped the mic and walked off stage with Rick Ross’ Boss playing in the background.
That concludes my list. Who would be on your list? Remember this is a judgment free zone, so feel free to have a little fun with it.
-Shana
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